Things Not To Say During Sex
"Oops! It seems to have come off."
"If you come quick, I can catch the game on TV."
"You look just like your mother."
"You're better than your mother."
"Did you remember to lock the back door?"
"And to think, I was really trying to pick up your friend!"
"You carry on, but do you mind if I finish this book?"
"What's for dinner tomorrow?"
"I thought you had the keys to the handcuffs."
"It's my mobile! I must answer it."
"I can see right up your nose."
"Oh, by the way, the cat got run over this afternoon."
"That boil on your chin looks nasty."
"Did I tell you my aunt Agatha died in this bed?"
"Linda used to do that."
"Do you accept Visa?"
"It's nice being in bed with a woman I don't have to inflate."
"I keep having fantasies about Barbara Bush,"
"Did I mention the video camera?"
"Hurry up -this room rents by the hour."
"Sorry about that -must be the baked beans."
"This would be fun with a few more people."
"Try not to leave any stains, OK?"
"I've just thought of the answer to 3 down. I won't be a second."
"Shall! do my impression of Officer Dibble?"
"Do you know the definition of statutory rape?"
"Keep it down. My mother is a light sleeper,"
"I see that mad axeman's still on the loose."
"Is that it? Can I go now?"